Another
“home run’ by Jack - a lesson
we all need to work on....
Bro
Jim
From: Jack Rushton
[mailto:jrushton321@ca.rr.com]
Sent: Monday, March 05, 2007 12:02 PM
To: Undisclosed-Recipient:;
Subject: Observation.
March
5, 2007, Observation:
Last
week I had the opportunity of visiting with my 40-year-old nephew, John Michael
Stuart. John was born with cerebral palsy which affected his motor skills
but not his mind. He is bright beyond bright, has read widely and deeply,
is currently writing a book, has a master's degree in social work, teaches the
temple preparation class in his ward, and serves as executive secretary in the
bishopric. John's life has not been easy but he is a great example to me
of one who has not let his circumstances in life, limit or control his behavior
in a negative manner.
One
of the burdens John has had to bear throughout his life is that those who don't
know him, at times mistakenly believe that not only is he physically impaired
but mentally handicapped as well. One can only imagine the anguish this
has caused John. As we were visiting the other day he told me of an
experience he recently had at a little post office in the mountains where he
and his family were staying. He needed to mail a letter but because of
his lack of motor skills was unable to address it. He got in line and
when it was his turn he asked the postmistress if she would please address his
letter for him. In an angry voice she told him no. She said she didn't
have the time or the desire to do so and why would he ask her to do this in the
first place. John tried to explain his predicament but she simply refused
to listen or respond in a kind manner to him. In the midst of his
frustration a lady standing behind him tapped him on the shoulder and told him
that she would be happy to address his letter for him. John gave her the
address, she wrote it on the envelope, and the letter was mailed.
John
was incensed, burning up with anger, boiling inside, because of the way the
postmistress had treated him. When he saw his family again, in telling
them what had happened, he started railing on the postmistress, how horrible
she was, and how she had offended, and mistreated him. A family member
after listening for a minute wisely said, "But John, what of the lady who
was kind enough to help you?" John said those words were a real
wake-up call to him. He was embarrassed that he had focused his attention
and anger on the offense, without once thinking of the kindness of the woman
who had helped him. John's reaction to his negative experience was not
unlike the reaction many of us have had as we have been offended or "put
upon unjustly" by someone or something at some time in our lives.
Several
thoughts have been churning in my mind as I have contemplated John's
experience. One thought is that mortal life could well be described as
"Choices versus Circumstances". We all are subject to
circumstances and situations of an infinite variety; being offended and
mistreated is just one example. However, because of the priceless gift of
agency we are free to choose how we are going to react to any given
circumstance with which we are faced. One might say, "Why do there have
to be people like the obnoxious postmistress?" The answer to this
question and all of the others regarding the difficult things that can happen
to any one of us is simply that it is part of our mortal experience and
testing. It is not the circumstances that matter but how we react to
them, using our freedom to choose.
At
times we may think that life is unfair, but it really isn't; it is just
life! Some circumstances we bring upon ourselves because of certain
choices we make. Other circumstances come to us unexpectedly and without
our wanting them, simply because we are living in a world governed by natural
law. Our bodies are created in such a manner that as we grow old they
begin to wear down and wear out. Because of our mortal bodies and because
we live in a world governed by natural law we are subject to a vast array of
physical afflictions, potential accidents, and other challenges that can
unexpectedly come into any of our lives. Very few of us are faced with
the same circumstances in life, but we all have the precious gift of agency
that gives us the freedom to react to our own peculiar and customized
circumstances anyway we choose. There is never any justification to look
at the heavens and shout "Life is so unfair!"
My
life has taught me that perhaps the best choice we can always make under any
given set of circumstances is to be grateful for all the good things we have,
show kindness to others and be forgiving of offenses that may come our
way. To be filled with anger, to feel that we have been "picked
on", or to be unwilling to "let it go", is to be miserable
ourselves and to make those about us miserable as well.
During
the 1880s a French writer by the name of Guy de Maupassant, created some 300
short stories that were widely read during his day and beyond. One of his
most famous was entitled "The Piece of String". The story is about a
peasant named Hauchecome who came on market day to
the village. While walking through the public square, his eye caught sight of a
piece of string lying on the cobblestones. He picked it up and put it in his
pocket. His actions were observed by the village harness maker with whom he had
previously had a dispute.
Later
in the day the loss of a purse was reported. Hauchecome
was arrested on the accusation of the harness maker. He was taken before the
mayor, to whom he protested his innocence, showing the piece of string that he
had picked up. But he was not believed and laughed at. The next day the purse
was found, and Hauchecome was absolved of any
wrongdoing. But, resentful of the indignity he had suffered because of a false
accusation he became embittered and would not let the matter die. Unwilling to
forgive and forget, he thought and talked of little else. He neglected his
farm. Everywhere he went, everyone he met had to be told of the injustice. By
day and by night he brooded over it. Obsessed with his grievance, he became
desperately ill and died. In the delirium of his death struggles, he repeatedly
murmured, “A piece of string, a piece of string.”
Sadly,
the experience of this peasant farmer and its tragic ending is mirrored in the
lives of far too many of us. I am glad that my nephew John was able to
use his agency to focus on the kindness of the lady that helped him, rather
than harbor in his heart feelings of anger and resentment. He was blessed
because of it. Many circumstances we cannot control or change, but we can
always choose how we react to them because of the priceless gift of agency.
Choices and circumstances will continue to be the common lot of each one of
us. Hopefully we will never forget that: "... men are afree
according to the bflesh